The Week Before Christmas

Each year I write a poem for my recruitment team. Those of you in the staffing industry can appreciate the intensity this time of year brings as we near year end and our clients are dizzy with holiday joy and cheer. Last year I wrote a poem called "Working in Recruiting Wonderland". This year I decided to do a twist on "The Night Before Christmas". The names have been changed to protect... well... all of us.

The Week Before Christmas

Twas the week before Christmas and all through the house,
Recruitment was working like a busy little mouse.

Resumes were submitted to the client with care,
In hopes that offers soon would be there.

The Partners were frantic and had much to dread,
While visions of low profits danced in their heads.

With free cokes in the kitchen (but really wanting beer on tap),
The recruiters were exhausted and each needed a nap

When out in reception there arose such a clatter,
Recruiting sprang from their seats to see what was the matter.

They ran to the front quicker than a flash,
Fearing it was a candidate demanding more cash.

When what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But candidates pouring in from both far and near.

More rapid than eagles the resumes came,
As they applied from firms with a reputable name.

On E&Y, BDO, Deloitte and KPMG,
On Grant Thornton, Moss Adams and PwC.

They had all quit their jobs and heeded the call,
To work for McGladrey, each, one and all.

Jackie spoke not a work but went straight to her work,
Handing out applications and going over the perks.

Then Bill laid a finger aside of his nose,
Working on ways to get each candidate to close.

While Alan did interviews and then heard a grumble in his belly,
It was now 11:30 and he was off to the deli.

Jennifer was excited to know cold calls would stop,
As candidates were accepting and the pipeline did pop.

Managers, Supervisors, and Seniors had been hired,
It was exactly the outcome that the client had desired.

Jim was pleased with how the recruiters stepped up to the task,
Despite thinking they spend their days just drinking from a flask.

But they heard him exclaim as in his Porsche, he drove out of site,
Merry Christmas to all and keep sourcing tonight!

Happy Holidays!!!!!

Heartbeats

Today, my good friend Brian shared a touching and tender story with me that moved my soul in such a way, that I just had to pass it on. I have to preface this anecdote by saying that Brian is a single dad of an adorable two year-old baby girl, Alana. Over the past two years, I’ve watched Brian evolve into a wonderful father and wholly embrace his initiation into fatherhood. He often tells me how Alana is the love and light of his life. With Brian you know he’s speaking directly from his heart when addressing any topic regarding his daughter.

One of the activities he shares with his daughter is a weekly Kindermusik class. Kindermusik is a wonderful program designed to teach infants and toddlers preliminary musical skills all the while promoting parental bonding and interaction. During Brian's and Alana’s recent Kindermusik class the teacher instructed both parent and child to draw physically close to each other to feel and share each others’ heartbeats. What a brilliant concept and powerfully moving time of bonding!

Fast forward two days later. Brian is dressing and primping Alana for the day. Any of you who’ve been adventurous enough to meticulous groom a two year-old know all too well that such an activity could have rattled even Gandhi; however, thankfully, such was not the case this morning. Clearly Brian had some good karma coming to him. As Brian was brushing Alana’s hair there was a tender spirit about her. Brian pulled her close and encouraged her to share their heartbeats; to which she readily obliged. In doing so, she heard both hers and her fathers’ heartbeats as one. Being caught up in the moment she gave a gentle smile and cooed. It was such a moving moment for both that Brian had Alana do it again. No words, just bonding through the unified beating of their hearts. A heartbeat symbolizes life and love. Both of which were very present. If every child could have such deep, affectionate moments with their parents just think of the beautiful, peaceful generation of children we’d raise.

When Brian shared this story with me, I was touch by how incredibly blessed both he and Alana were to have had this priceless moment of bonding. I was also reminded that there is a heart beating inside every child and it needs to be heard and tended to. Too often as busy parents we get caught up in the demands of our day. We forget to take something as simple as grooming our children and making the moment special and building lasting memories. We let valued moments slip through our hands. All too soon our children will be off on their own and our homes will be agonizingly quiet. Instead of listening to the current deafening din around us, we need to make some quiet time with our children. Time so quiet we can hear the precious beating of their hearts and be reminded of the priceless gift they are to us. Then, when they’re grown up and eventually leave the nest, you can gently put your hand on your own heart, feel its tender beating and know they’re still close by.

The Merry Bells of Christmas

I know, I know. It's only September 4th and I'm already writing a blog about Christmas.

I'd be remiss if I didn't share with you the wonderful nostalgic experience I encountered this past weekend at the Pasadena Flea Market. As an experienced shopper, I know all too well the pre-shopping ritual that must take place. I was dubious to properly stretch, apply sunscreen, don my baseball cap and sunglasses, chant to the shopping gods for great bargains, and most importantly, grab my non-fat venti vanilla latte with whip. All by 7:30 a.m., mind you. That's right, 7:30 a.m. on a weekend. Bargain hunting requires exemplary skills and a strategy equal to that of a well executed military operation.

The temperature was a disgusting 99 degrees and climbing. It was an optimal environment for hatching baby chicks, not antique shopping. Being the ardent bargain hunter that I am, I was not going to let the sweltering heat deter me. I browsed through countless items with childlike glee. Silverware, paintings, furniture, toys, collectibles, apparel, and every conceivable chachkey you could imagine.

Before I go further, I need to interject here with a story from my youth. Hang with me. It will all make sense in a few minutes.

Every year, on the Friday after Thanksgiving my mother would don this lovely Christmas bell pin. She’d wear it on her wool coat and sweaters. Hearing the first sweet sounds of the tinkling bell would signify the start of the Christmas season. I can remember hearing my mother walking down the church aisle at Christmas all the while hearing her jingle until she properly took her seat. As the years passed, I would search jewelry store after jewelry store in an effort to procure the same pin my mother had. I liked the symbolism it held for me and wanted to one day impart the same to my child(ren). For almost 30 years I diligently searched, but to no avail.

Now here’s where we get back to my original story. See, I told you it would all make sense.

I happened upon a table with a display of antique jewelry. I normally don’t browse the jewelry tables because I know the one thing that catches my eye will undoubtedly be from some Royal family and have a price tag far beyond what my humble purse can afford. Thankfully, today was different. As I quickly surveyed the beautiful baubles, one piece of jewelry in particular caught my eye. It was an exact replica of the Christmas bell pin my mother wore. I gasped with excitement and the largest of smiles crossed my face. I quickly snatched up the pin and inquired as to its cost. The vendor replied “Uh, that one. It’s $7.00.” To which I immediately replied “I’ll take it”.

I made several other modest purchases throughout the morning, but nothing held greater value to me than having found my long sought after Christmas pin. It’s not because of the material value of the pin but rather the sentimental value; which to me is priceless. Hearing the gentle ringing of the pin’s bells has flooded my heart and mind with wonderful memories of my childhood Christmas’s.

In Frank Capra’s It’s a Wonderful Life, the character of ZuZu Bailey is quoted as saying “When a bell rings an angel gets its wings”. For me, when I hear the sweet sounds of the bell ringing, I’m reminded of an angel of a mother who created this wonderful holiday memory and how on the wings of this tradition I can share the same with my child.

Oh, and for the record, there are only 109 shopping days until Christmas.

Avon Breast Cancer Walk

This coming September 15th & 16th I have committed myself to walk almost 40 miles, with thousands of other men and women to help find a cure for breast cancer. We will forge new friendships, get blisters on our feet, drink countless bottles of water, sleep in tents, and walk 26 miles one day and 13 miles the next; all the while raising money for breast cancer research. We have committed to the training and fundraising required to participate in this life changing event known as The Avon Walk for Breast Cancer . The net proceeds from this event (and others across America) will support non-profit breast health programs, as well as medical research to help find a cure for breast cancer.

I've been touched my so many stories from my friends and loved ones on how they were personally affected by breast cancer. Whether they themselves are a survivor, know someone battling breast cancer, or have lost a loved one to the disease. I've been humbled and challenged by your personal accounts and will walk in tribute to them.

My story is pretty simple, but at the time was quite a scare. I awoke one Saturday morning, over two years ago, and inadvertently found a lump in my right breast. By Monday morning I was in the doctors office. On Tuesday I had undergone a mammogram and breast sonogram. On Thursday I was in surgery having not one, but three lumps removed as well as several small masses. Two of the lumps removed hadn't shown on the mammogram. Within the span of one week my life had drastically stopped and I was confronted with the possibility of having breast cancer. The morning of my surgery there were several other women going in for breast related surgeries. When all was said and done, my lumps were benign, however, I've never forgotten the other women who went into surgery that same day and received the difficult diagnosis of breast cancer. From that day on, I promised myself that I would do my part to help those who despite optimism, prayers and the best of medical care, suffer from breast cancer. The Avon Walk for Breast Cancer is a great way for me to show my gratitude for my positive outcome as well as help those who suffer from this terrible disease. I'm asking for your help as well.

This year, over 180,000 women in the United States will be diagnosed with breast cancer.

Over 40,000 will die.

That's why we're walking.

To do something big.

To be a part of something special, and something very, very important.
We hope that you'll be a partner with us in this effort.

Each walker must commit to raising at least $2,000. Maybe we're crazy--but if this is what it takes to find a cure, and help our many friends and family who are breast cancer survivors--we'll be there.

I'm asking for your support. Would you commit to making a fully tax-deductible donation toward my efforts to help us meet our goal? I'd like to personally thank each one of you for joining us in this fight. You can make your donation on-line at: www.avonwalk.org. – click on Make a Donation – then click on Donate to a Participate, select Los Angeles and then type in my name (LoriAnn Boyer - for those of you who've already forgotten who sent this email). You can make a single donation or spread your contribution over several months. Any support will be most graciously appreciated.

In the time it has taken you to read this, another woman is diagnosed with breast cancer in the United States.

Please help us change that statistic.

Thank you ALL from the bottom of my heart.

Love,
LoriAnn

First Crush

For the past several months, my son has had a crush on a girl at school.

It wasn’t until recently that he finally opened up and shared his heart’s intent with me, but I’d had my suspicions.

There are certain unmistakable signs that a preteen boy is falling in love.

Improved hygiene, for one.

Suddenly, my son was showering more thoroughly and actually using the soap and shampoo. A huge feat when you’re parenting a preteen. He began getting ready for school a half hour earlier than usual, paying careful attention to his wardrobe and hair. Dressing out of the hamper and walking out the door with bed head was apparently SO yesterday.

Then came the request for a lesson on the proper application of deodorant, followed by an inquiry as to whether he should start wearing cologne.

But perhaps the most telling sign was his newfound affection for Mondays.

He would walk around on weekends forlorn, seemingly counting the hours until Monday morning arrived. With the possible exception of pastors and priests, I don’t know anyone who looks forward to Mondays.

Clearly, this was serious.

One afternoon, while driving home from Baskin-Robbins (please don’t tell my Weight Watchers instructor), my son turned to me and asked a question I wasn’t expecting.

“Mom, what does it feel like to be in love?”

There are questions your children ask that make you realize, without warning, that they’re growing up right beside you. One minute you’re reminding them to use shampoo. The next, they’re asking you to explain one of the great mysteries of the human experience.

What does it feel like to be in love?

Why… it’s the most wonderful feeling in the world.

It’s euphoric and beautiful. Silly and tender. Invigorating and heart-thumping. It makes ordinary things feel extraordinary. A glance can sustain you for an afternoon. A hallway can become the place where your entire future might be decided.

And apparently, Monday morning becomes something to look forward to.

Then he asked me about my first crush.

I love when my son asks about my childhood. It gives me the chance to introduce him to the person I was before I was Mom. And I think there’s something comforting for him in discovering that I’ve been where he is, that all of these strange and wonderful feelings are simply part of growing up.

My first great love arrived in fifth grade.

His name was Mr. Pontes.

My teacher.

I fell madly, deeply and unabashedly in love with him.

He was gorgeous, by a ten-year-old’s standards. I was giddy with excitement at the beginning of each school day and devastated when the final bell rang. That meant a long bus ride home and an entire night of counting the hours until I could be reunited with my beloved.

Apparently, love hasn’t changed much in a generation. My son had discovered shampoo.

I discovered perfect attendance.

In an effort to impress Mr. Pontes, I worked diligently on every assignment. This was important. If we were eventually going to build a life together, he needed to know he was marrying his intellectual equal.

Never mind that one of us had a college degree and the other was still mastering long division.

I had also read somewhere that men liked women with long, silky hair, so I kept mine long and perfectly combed. I could have been in a coma or traction and I would not have missed a day of school.

I watched Mr. Pontes with adoration as he glided through the classroom, dispensing his knowledge upon us. I found him absolutely dreamy.

I loved everything about being in love with him: the butterflies, the exhilaration, the anticipation, the sheer joy of being in the same room with the object of my affection.

And I was quite certain Mr. Pontes felt the same way.

Naturally, he couldn't reveal his feelings. He was my teacher, after all. There were professional standards to maintain.

In my ten-year-old mind, his professionalism was not evidence that he didn’t love me.

It was evidence of extraordinary restraint.

When he called in sick one day and left us with a substitute teacher, I was furious.

How dare he not consider my feelings?

There was, of course, the minor complication of our 20-year age difference.

And his wife.

And their two children.

Details.

I was convinced that Mr. Pontes was every bit as enraptured with me as I was with him and had simply decided to wait patiently until I turned 18. At that point, he would divorce his wife, profess his undying love for me, we would marry, have seven children and live happily ever after.

I had no idea, of course, that this plan technically positioned me as a homewrecker.

Great.

A homewrecker at ten.

Clearly, my moral development had not kept pace with my romantic ambitions.

Then, one Friday afternoon, it happened.

“Lori, may I speak with you in the hall?”

This was it.

After months of stolen glances, academic excellence and impeccably combed hair, the man could resist me no longer.

With heart-pounding anticipation and a sweet dizziness, I followed him into the hallway.

He asked me to sit down and crouched beside me.

Oh my heavens.

He’s going to propose.

Never mind that I was ten, he was thirty, and I still needed permission to go to the bathroom.

Love apparently recognizes no administrative boundaries.

“Lori…” Mr. Pontes began.

“Yes?” I said, ready to leap from my chair, throw my arms around his neck and kiss him passionately.

Well, as passionately as a ten-year-old knows how to kiss.

“Ms. Almeda informed me that you were somewhat unruly in the lunchroom today and, despite repeated warnings, you chose not to modify your behavior. Is this true?”

My heart sank.

He was not going to propose.

Worse.

I was in trouble.

How utterly humiliating.

I wished for the floor to open up and swallow me whole. This could not be happening. Mr. Pontes was the love of my life, and I was standing before him a convicted lunchroom anarchist.

I burst into tears.

I confessed to everything.

I apologized incessantly.

For my punishment, I had to write all 50 states and their capitals three times.

For days afterward, I had knots in my stomach and behaved sheepishly around him. The fantasy had been shattered. The future Mrs. Pontes had fallen from grace.

By day two, I realized I was experiencing something entirely new.

Heartbreak.

Sadly, it would not be my last encounter with that particular emotion.

I finished fifth grade still deeply admiring Mr. Pontes, but I was no longer in love with him.

I was much more mature now.

Mr. Pontes was SO yesterday.

Besides, I had moved on.

I was now crazily in love with Erik Estrada.

At least he wasn’t married with a family.

I find myself thinking about that little girl now as I watch my son experience his first crush.

I remember how enormous those feelings seemed. How one person could suddenly make school more exciting, weekends unbearably long and Monday morning something worth counting down to.

And I remember how real it all was.

That's perhaps the most important thing for me to remember as his mother. His first crush may someday become a funny childhood story, just as Mr. Pontes became one of mine. But right now, to him, these feelings aren't small simply because he's young.

They're enormous.

Sitting beside him that afternoon, I realized my son was taking his first few steps down a road I know well.

There will be butterflies and awkward conversations. There will probably be ridiculous decisions and, almost certainly, heartbreak. There may be people he loves for a season and, someday, perhaps someone he loves for a lifetime.

I can’t walk that road for him.

I wouldn’t want to.

But right now, he’s still willing to let me walk beside him.

And that may be one of the sweetest parts of watching him grow up.

Besides, any girl who can get my son to voluntarily use shampoo has already earned a special place in my heart.

The Pinewood Derby

Today was our Cub Scout pack’s Pinewood Derby.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with Scouting, the Pinewood Derby is an annual tradition, pitting Scout against Scout in pulse-jumping, nail-biting races. About a month before the big event, each Scout is handed a 6" x 2" block of pine and given the challenge of transforming it into a racing machine that will shoot like a bullet down a 40-foot track.

Every year, I’m touched by watching grown men revert to their childhood as they reminisce about building Pinewood Derby cars with their dads. Some have even admitted to still proudly displaying their cars despite now being middle-aged themselves. I suspect it has far less to do with the glory of winning and much more to do with the memories attached to that little block of wood.

There’s something wonderful about watching the 10-year-old boy reappear in a grown man as he regales you with stories of his Derby days.

This year, due to my ex-husband’s busy schedule, I was tasked with overseeing the transformation of my son’s block of pine into a miniature NASCAR-ish creation.

I should probably interject here that I’m a bit of a perfectionist, particularly when it comes to aesthetics.

This could have been a problem.

But this wasn’t my Pinewood Derby car. It was my son’s. I had to step aside and allow him to take ownership of his creative process. My job was simply to purchase the paints, decals and weights, offer assistance when asked and then watch the metamorphosis from ordinary block of wood to championship-worthy race car unfold.

By relinquishing my ideas, and, OK, a little...um...control, over what I thought his car should look like, I was amazed by what he ultimately created.

Wow.

A life lesson for Mom hidden inside a Pinewood Derby? How novel.

My son was knocked out of the competition midway through. It certainly wasn’t for lack of effort. He placed second in most of his races before eventually making way for the remaining Scouts to vie for the top prize.

One might think that would bring some disappointment after weeks of hard work, anticipation and preparation.

But something quite different happened.

During the final heats, one of my son’s friends, whom we’ll call Tyler, emerged as the front-runner. Every time Tyler approached the track, the boys began chanting his name.

TYLER! TYLER! TYLER!

With each heat Tyler won, the chants grew louder.

TYLER! TYLER! TYLER!

What struck me was that these were the same boys whose own cars had already been eliminated. Their chance at the trophy was over. Yet there wasn’t a hint of resentment or disappointment as they watched their friend move closer to winning.

They were genuinely thrilled for him.

In that moment, Tyler’s wins became their wins.

When the final heat ended, the Cubmaster announced the third-place winner. Everyone applauded.

Then came second place. More applause.

Finally, the boys crowded around Tyler. Fingers were crossed. Anticipation was high. They waited.

“And the grand prize winner of the 2007 Pinewood Derby is...TYLER!”

The room erupted.

Tyler’s friends jumped up and down, screaming and cheering, hugging him so tightly he could barely break free to collect his trophy.

I stood there watching them and found myself deeply touched by the sincerity of their sportsmanship and, more importantly, their friendship.

This was Tyler’s day.

But it occurred to me that Tyler had won something far more valuable than a Pinewood Derby trophy. He had a group of friends who could celebrate his success as enthusiastically as if it were their own.

They say we can learn a great deal from children if we’re willing to look with the right eyes and an open heart. Today was no exception.

I learned that genuine love and support in friendship are gifts far greater than any trophy we could ever take home. I was also reminded that I won’t always take home the grand prize in every area of my own life. Sometimes it will be someone else’s turn to stand in the winner’s circle.

And when it is, I hope I’m standing nearby, cheering just as loudly.

My son and the other Scouts may not have taken home the top prize today, but as far as I’m concerned, they demonstrated something worth far more.

They showed what it looks like to be number one as friends.

Way to go, guys.

A New Beginning

There’s a symbolic nature about the dawn of a new year. It’s as if every January 1st, life graciously affords us a “do over”; the opportunity to start anew. For most, it’s a time to cleanse the previous years’ slate of failures, missed opportunities, broken resolutions, hurt, pain, drama, and mistakes and initiate or reignite our goals and purpose. It’s like the sweetness and sense of renewal you feel after a rain storm. Everything is fresh, beautiful and hopeful again. We thrust ourselves into the new year with great expectations. Not that we approach them in a quixotic nature, but rather with a genuine zeal. We have the best of intentions. For many, unfortunately, the fervor is lost within the first month. Whether it’s trying to lose weight, stop smoking or drinking, start that new career, or taking that long awaited trip, many simply give up all too quickly, only to face the same regret of another failure the following new year. For those that remain steadfast in passionately pursuing their resolutions and dreams, they have the pure satisfactin of knowing they stayed the course and can now partake in the sweet taste of accomplishment and victory.

As I look back at this past year there are countless accomplishments I’m proud of. I set numerous goals for myself, from learning to start a fire in my fireplace to taking my business to a higher level. I experienced the satisfaction of reaching one goal after another. On the flip side, there are also moments in which I wished I handled things differently, whether with more grace and compassion, better judgment, or had disciplined myself to stay wholly focused on the all of the objectives I had set for myself. All in all, I feel I emerged from 2006 a more grounded, compassionate, insightful, intellectually wealthy, and driven individual. I can’t undo the pain, hurt, failures or mistakes I encountered during 2006. I can only learn from them and center my thoughts on the future that is at hand, set new aspirations, and endeavor to reach them with the utmost of commitment. I feel with each passing year, I have come more and more into my own. I’ve finally learned who I am and love the course my life is taking. It’s not the easiest of courses by far, but one I’m eager to embark on as 2007 unfolds. I'm eager to see where life takes me this year and where I'll be this time come December 31st. I lift my cyberspace glass of champagne and enthusiastically toast 2007. A year I'm certain will be filled with elation, joy, successes, and of course, unexpected turns. All of which I passionately embrace. Here's to a wonderful New Year!