My Heart and Why It Beats

This guy is turning 24 today!  

As a parent, one of our core responsibilities is to shape, train, prepare and ready our offspring for adulthood. We cloak them with love, strength, education, discipline, tools and the confidence and courage to embrace the challenges they will undoubtedly face.

On the day my son was first put in my arms, I never in my wildest dreams would have imagined having to navigate him through a deadly pandemic, living under martial law and lock downs, riots, civil unrest and one of the most divisive times in our nation’s history; albeit from 3,000 miles away. 

Yet, through it all, I am grateful for the beautiful, unexpected surprises along the way. The deep, soulful and honest conversations about the fears and frustrations we were facing. Zoom dinners with a huge side of laughter. The incredible art through writing, composing, editing and videography my son created as he processed his experiences. Random “I love you, Mom” text messages… just because. Witnessing my sons resilience, grit and spirit of fortitude despite the anxiety and uncertainty he was facing. Long talks and aspirations about what life will be like once we’re on the other side of this pandemic. 

So, thank you, Stephen, for 24 years of amazing mother, son moments. Thank you for still pulling me in close when you need me. Thank you for the intense bond we shared this past year in our most vulnerable of moments. I wish you all the joy life could bestow and love you more than my heart has the right to love another human being.

Happy Birthday!

Coaching My Younger Self

Today I celebrate another year of my enriching journey in the Talent Acquisition and HR industry. I fell into my craft by accident and quickly discovered a passion and skill for working with the most volatile and unpredictable commodity, human capital. This happy accident afforded me the rich opportunity to partner with an incredible collection of dynamic, scary smart, and well-respected leaders, hire some of the best and brightest talent, work for a myriad of leading companies and brands and, flourish exponentially as a professional.

I remember vividly my first day in Talent Acquisition. I was hired as a recruiting coordinator for a leading public accounting and consulting firm. This would be where I would not only cut my teeth but tear fiercely into honing my skills as an HR and recruiting professional. Little did realize back then that I would be embarking on the career ride of a lifetime.

If I could sit with my younger self on that first day and share the wisdom of my older self today, here is what I tell her:

• Intentionally push yourself far beyond your comfort zone and run daringly into things that terrify you. The scary moments will lead you to successes and opportunities you never thought possible.

• Stay perpetually curious, never hesitate to ask questions, and let your thirst for knowledge be insatiable

• The hardest falls will teach you the biggest lessons. Heed them wisely and be grateful to those who picked you up and brushed you off. Gratitude and wisdom will be our allies. 

• As you taste success do so with gratitude and a humble heart.

• Always own a mistake and work double time to rectify it.

• One of the cornerstones to your success will be in the relationships you build and the leaders you engage with. Hold yourself accountable to a personal advisory board

• If counting to 10 does not calm you down, count to 20.

• When you feel like quitting yet find the grit to push onward, that’s when the real work begins.

• There will be those who will work to tear you down due to their own insecurity, jealousy, and brokenness. Never give them permission to diminish who you are and the incredible talent you bring.

• Lead with grace and compassion. It will inspire others and elevate you as a leader. 

• At times you will struggle to find the right answer and then the answer will find you.

• It is healthy and necessary to not only have differing views but more importantly, to respect the diverse views others bring.

• You will have the power to help change lives. Use it wisely.

• Integrity and authenticity should always guide your actions.

• Embrace change and then embrace the change of the change.

• Once you have a seat at the table, feed others by mentoring and developing future talent. 

• Know your worth and deliver it back to your organization tenfold.

• Don’t be a people pleaser. It is alright, and at times, healthy, to say no.

• Move for the right opportunity. It will be the game-changer of your life!

• Keep a candy jar in your office. It will create a welcoming environment and drop-ins, and you will be amazed by how many problems chocolate will solve!

• Take ALL of your vacation days.

• Only you are responsible for your successes and failures.

• Go boldly, go confidently, and go passionately, and watch how far it will take you.

• Buckle up, girlfriend, because you’re in for one hell of a ride!

Heaven Intercepted A Giant

I received word this past weekend that my childhood pastor, Pastor Bill Chapman, arrived in heaven on Friday evening. My heart is heavy knowing a spiritual icon from my youth is no longer with us. Pastor Bill heralded from a time when Pastors were Pastors in the authentic sense of the role and weren’t caught up in charismatic performance. A time when Pastors refused to use their pulpit to promote personal agendas. A time when pastors didn’t use their social media or other influences to promote their political views and/or shame others who don’t share them. A time when Pastors understood the line between church and state. A time when the term “megachurch” was a foreign word.  A time before churches had bookstores and pastors were filling their shelves with their latest book or profiting commercially from their congregation.  A time when going to church meant worshiping God versus being entertained. A time when the pastor would stand at the back of the church after the service to shake your hand and knew your name, your parents’ names and even your pets names.

Pastor Bill was a humble, simple, godly man. In comparison to most of today’s church leaders he’d be considered an endangered species in the pastoral community. He understood that being a Reverend meant bringing reverence to God and forfeiting admiration towards himself. He preached the gospel as it was written, provided a framework of God’s love and never sugar-coated doctrines that were necessary for true spiritual growth. A large part of my faith foundation was laid through the teachings of Pastor Bill. 

When news of his passing was announced, I reached out to several friends from back in the day. All made similar comments of Pastor Bill being one of their favorite pastors. One such friend said, “He was one of the best pastors; the only one who truly ministered to me in my time of sickness”. Mind you, he was speaking to events from over 40 years ago.

I will always be eternally grateful for his passion for youth programs and the youth of our church. Pastor Bill was a monumental advocate for the Word of Life Clubs and our youth leaders. These clubs radically changed my life and were pivotal in my teen years. They provided a safe environment to grow, learn, connect, be challenged, discover and hone God given skills and talents, have insane amounts of fun, and created wonderful memories that I still carry with me.

I have several special memories of Pastor Bill. One such memory was the first time I did ministry outreach. Our church did door to door visitations and/or check ins with our shut-ins. On this one Saturday, I was with our youth team and Pastor Bill was the adult leading the group. It was the very first time I had signed up to do visitations. As we arrived at the first house, Pastor Bill could sense my apprehension. He could have easily allowed me to step back and hide in the background; but he knew I had come to do outreach and if I was going to overcome any fear of the process, he knew I needed to face it head on. He smiled, gently pushed me toward the doorstep and said, “Go get em’ tiger”.  And go get em’ I did, and for many Saturdays afterwards. Those four words turned a nervous young girl into someone who replaced her fear with boldness and it’s something I’ve carried with me all my life.

It’s ironic that at a time in my life when I’ve been jaded and deeply hurt by Christian leaders or those in ministry roles, and have struggled finding a church community where I truly feel at home, I find myself longing for the church of my youth. To sit in the humble, tiny church, on those hard-wooden pews, surrounded by my immediate and church family as we are fed an inspiring message from Pastor Bill sounds like the perfect spiritual elixir for my soul.

Heaven intercepted a giant when Pastor Bill arrived. I’m sure he’d dispute me on the term giant, but that’s what he was to me and many others. I had recently exchanged messages with his son, Nathan. Nathan put it best when he said “I often say that I will be in some little shack in heaven and go visit my parents in their mansion. If not for the pastoral ministry, for the number of people that they have helped personally and even those who came to live with us.” 

Here’s to one of the good ones. Pastor Bill Chapman! Who bypassed ego and personal agenda to provide an authentic church experience. Who understood the purpose of the church as God commanded it. Who provided leadership, experiences and teachings many of us still hold dear to our hearts today. The walls of South Swansea Baptist Church and the hearts of the many lives you touched so beautifully will forever echo your teachings and love for bringing God’s message to a broken world. Until that day when Nathan directs us to your heavenly mansion, where we can thank you, once again, for the powerful impact you’ve had on our lives, we will press on and continue to live the instruction and wisdom you instilled in us those many years ago! 

See you at the reunion party!