I Will NOT Quit!

Last night, I received the heartbreaking news that a mentor and giant of my youth had passed—Dr. Wendell Calder.

I first encountered Dr. Calder during my very first semester at Bible college, where he served as one of my professors. On the first day of class, he shared four simple words that would become a foundational truth in my life: “I will NOT quit.”

I wrote those words on a piece of paper and taped them above my dorm room desk. Whenever I felt overwhelmed, defeated, or on the verge of giving up, I would look up and draw strength from them. Time and time again, they were the catalyst that kept me moving forward.

I was so inspired by Dr. Calder that I dedicated the following summer to serving as a senior camp counselor at his camp, Camp Living Waters. I have always cherished the camp experience and the opportunity to work with youth—but the chance to combine that with time under Dr. Calder’s mentorship truly stirred my soul.

That summer, on the Fourth of July, I received devastating, life-altering news that shattered my world. I turned to Dr. Calder and his wonderful wife, Joan, and shared what had happened. That evening, they covered me with their love and prayers. Their compassion was a healing balm for my wounded spirit, and I have never forgotten the comfort they offered me in my darkest hour. It was not just their words—it was their presence, their love, their authenticity.

When Dr. Calder gently asked if I’d like to return home instead of finishing out my summer mission, I looked him in the eye and said, “No sir—because I will not quit.” He gave me that famous Calder grin—the one that said more than words ever could—and in that moment, I knew he was proud to see one of his students living out the very charge he had so passionately instilled.

I’m currently finalizing my autobiography, and one of the stories in my book centers around the events of that evening. While I regret not having the chance to share it with Dr. Calder, my heart is comforted knowing he holds a meaningful place within the pages of my story.

Over the years, Dr. Calder’s mantra—“I will not quit”—has echoed through the corridors of my life. One moment that stands out was just last year, as I prepared for my SHRM-CP exam. Weeks before the test, my father suffered three heart attacks. He was gravely ill, and my first instinct was to postpone the exam. But those four words tugged at my spirit once more. “I will not quit.” I held onto them. I sat for the exam—and I passed. The joy I felt in that moment was indescribable, and I whispered a quiet thank you to Dr. Calder for still, after 40 years, guiding me with his unwavering spirit.

Thank you, Dr. Calder, for giving me those four powerful words. Thank you for the example you set, the lives you touched, and the love you gave so freely.

Because of you, I didn’t and don't quit. And because of that, I’ve known the joy of victory through perseverance.

You were a gift. And you will never be forgotten. 💝

Women’s History Month: A Woman Who Inspires Me

I've seen many posts encouraging women to share stories about women who inspire them. While I’ve had the great fortune to work alongside, be mentored by, and admire incredible women, I want to take a different approach this time.

The woman who has most inspired me of late is my mom.

I’ll be perfectly honest—our relationship is rich yet complicated. We love deeply, but our interactions can be passionate, sometimes leading us to crossroads of angst and frustration. Yet, no matter how intense our clashes, we always find our way back—hearts weathered but bound by something deeper than words.

In late October of 2024, my 81-year-old father suffered three heart attacks in a single week. After the third, my mother received the devastating news that his condition was extremely grave. The cardiologist solemnly informed her: "Your husband is a very, very, very, very sick man and will most likely not leave the hospital."

In that moment, my mother stood at the edge of an unthinkable reality—the possibility of losing her partner of 60 years. The weight of those words, heavy with finality, threatened to shatter the world they had built together.

For ten weeks, she sat diligently by my father’s bedside, holding his hand through dark, frightening, and silent moments. She bore witness as he lay motionless on a ventilator, endured relentless poking and prodding, had tubes forced down his throat and plunged into his body, and underwent painful procedures. He was medicated to the point of hallucination, and as the weeks wore on, she watched helplessly as his body weakened.

Yet, through it all, she remained steadfast—determined to prove the doctors wrong and bring her husband home.

And home he came.

On New Year's Eve, at 10:30 p.m., chauffeured by ambulance, medics brought him through their front door. They stepped into the new year—and into the next chapter of his care—on their own terms.

Since then, my mother, who just turned 80, has been his unwavering caregiver, approaching the task with the precision of a five-star general on the most profound mission of her life. With relentless dedication, she monitors his vitals, prepares nourishing meals, and manages every delicate moment with grace and strength. She ensures his comfort at every turn, oversees his physical therapy with loving determination, including firmly insisting that he walk down the hall to the kitchen and back every two hours—each step a quiet act of hope and perseverance.

She has sacrificed her own freedoms, comforts, and needs to provide my father with the care he both requires and deserves. She has battled exhaustion and frustration, shed countless silent tears, and faced difficult conversations with courage—all while coming to terms with the reality of his health and the uncertain road ahead.

I wholeheartedly believe my father is alive today because of my mother’s unwavering love and devotion.

I have witnessed firsthand the deepest vows of marriage—‘for better or for worse, in sickness and in health’—come to life before my eyes. When couples eagerly recite those vows, they cannot fully grasp their depth. Only when they are thrust into hardships that feel unbearable do they truly understand their meaning. For those who honor this covenant, love becomes more than a promise—it becomes an unshakable foundation, carrying them through life’s most difficult trials

So today, I proudly nominate my mother as the woman who has most inspired me during Women’s History Month.

She is the embodiment of strength, love, and unwavering devotion. Through an extraordinary crisis, she has shown what true partnership and caregiving mean—caring for my father with dignity, grace, and resilience. Her selflessness not only sustained him in his time of need but also paved the way for more history to be written with him. She is a testament to the quiet yet profound power of women who shape the world, one act of bravery and love at a time.

Bravo, Mom! I love you. 

Life's 10,000 Mile Check-In

I recently took the plunge into the world of auto consumerism and got myself a new car. There’s something magical about that “new car smell” and the thrill of discovering all the shiny bells and whistles. As someone who stands at a proud 5’2”, I was downright giddy to find that my new ride comes with a seat that lifts me to an altitude where I can finally see over the hood—no more blind faith at stop signs!

My car salesman, Matt—part auto expert, part Jedi Master of vehicle knowledge—patiently walked me through all the high-tech features, making me feel like I was learning to pilot a spaceship. As we wrapped up, he gave me one crucial piece of advice: bring my classy new chassy back in when it hits 10,000 miles. Challenge accepted—though, at the rate I’m showing it off, that might be sooner than expected!

That got me thinking—what if we had a 10,000-mile check-up for our own lives? Just like a car needs routine maintenance to stay in peak condition, we could all use a little tuning up every now and then.

If our compassion filter was clogged, a fresh replacement would be an easy fix. Running low on integrity, optimism, discernment, courage, empathy, or trust? No problem—our life mechanic would replenish those reserves, ensuring we operate at our best. If our priorities were misaligned, a quick rotation would get us back on track, restoring balance and focus. And if negativity had built up in our system, slowing us down and making the ride bumpier than it needs to be, our life mechanic would flush out toxic thoughts and emotions—leaving only positive energy flowing through.

We’d leave the Life Station renewed and energized, our virtues topped off, our priorities finely tuned. With a full tank of clarity and confidence, we’d be ready to hit the road—full speed ahead into the next exciting stretch of our life’s journey.

I’d like to believe that we truly do have Life Stations we can pull into when we feel exhausted and depleted on our journey. These places of renewal aren’t marked by neon signs or fuel pumps, but rather by the people who care and uplift us—our partners, parents, family, friends, co-workers, churches, and, of course, therapists. Each plays a unique role, offering a different kind of restoration depending on the depth of our relationship with them.

For some, an encouraging word from a mentor or friend is like the perfect jump-start for a stalled engine. It’s that timely reminder that we’re capable of more than we think, that our journey isn’t over, and that even in the most challenging moments, there’s a spark of hope that can reignite our drive. It’s not just a pat on the back—it’s the kind of affirmation that empowers us to push forward, even when it feels like we’re running on empty.

For others, the loving embrace of a partner or loved one provides an entire emotional overhaul. It’s more than a hug—it’s the quiet comfort of knowing someone is holding space for you when you’re at your lowest.

A trusted friend might serve as a mirror, reflecting not just our strengths but also our blind spots. Their feedback can be the gentle nudge we need to adjust our course—like the kind of advice that helps us realize we’ve been too hard on ourselves or too complacent in a particular area. Sometimes, it’s these honest but kind conversations that reveal the areas where we need to improve or find balance, making it easier to refuel and reorient ourselves.

And sometimes, it’s a colleague—unexpectedly and profoundly—who serves as our Life Station. It’s the wisdom they share in a casual lunch conversation or the laughter they bring in a tough meeting that lightens the mood and reminds us that life, even at its busiest, still has its lighter moments.

But here’s the thing—self-care is also part of the equation. Just like we wouldn't expect a car to function well without gas, oil changes, and proper upkeep, we can’t expect ourselves to operate at our best without tending to our own needs. Maybe our check-up looks like setting boundaries, getting enough rest, eating well, or making space for things that bring us joy. Maybe it’s quiet reflection, journaling, or simply allowing ourselves a break when we need one. Maintenance isn’t just about fixing what’s broken—it’s about keeping everything running smoothly in the first place.

What’s key about these Life Stations is that they aren’t one-size-fits-all. They’re the places and people we rely on to replenish our emotional, mental, and even physical reserves. Each one serves a different role, but all contribute to our holistic well-being—helping us get back in alignment, recharge, and tackle life with renewed vigor.

Whatever or whoever your Life Station may be, don’t take it for granted. Make frequent stops for maintenance—both external and internal—just as you would for any well-loved machine. Because if we neglect these vital check-ins—if we let ourselves run on empty for too long—we risk breaking down when we need to keep going the most.

So, be diligent. Take the time to refuel, recalibrate, and reconnect. Care for yourself as intentionally as you would care for anything of value. After all, the road ahead is much smoother when we make sure we’re traveling with a full tank and at our optimal best.

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