You Know You're a Working Mom When...

• Before hitting the office, you have already filled the role of chef, chauffeur, wardrobe consultant, tiny terrorist negotiator and detective (finding backpacks, shoes, homework, sports equipment for after school practice, shoes... again, even though they put them on their feet and investigating the odd smell under your kids bed). 
• You stroke the side of your coffee mug and, like Gollum from Lord of the Rings, refer to is as "My Precious".
• Your breakfast consists of a handful of Goldfish crackers and a fruit roll-up.
• You sit through meetings with the theme songs from Sesame Street and Dora the Explorer looping in your head.
• One of your co-workers kindly removes dried oatmeal from your hair; from the day before.
• You frantically look at every call that comes in on your cell to see if it’s your kids calling; and pray to God it’s not the principal phoning… again.
• You jump at any chance to lunch with co-workers simply to have one meal out where you don't get crayons and a coloring book with your menu.
• You play referee on the phone while your kids are fighting over who gets the last Capri Sun.
• You plan out dinner and your grocery list during conference calls.
• You laugh at how silly you were to think you had time to pick up groceries or even make dinner.
• You wonder if feeding your kids Pop Tarts and root beer for dinner will warrant a visit from DCF or guarantee you a place in the Bad Mom Hall of Fame.
• You sometimes see the pictures of your kids on your desk and your heart smiles.
• You sometimes see the pictures of your kids on your desk and your heart hurts.
• You try to figure out how you and your kids can cleverly wear the same outfit tomorrow so you don’t have to do laundry when you get home.
• You refer to the ladies room as “The Potty”.
• You relish the uninterrupted time in the ladies room and call it “Me Time”.
• You sometimes cry on your way to and from work.
• Even though you know that once you get home the insanity will ensue, you still can’t wait to get there.
• You close a deal from the bleachers of your child’s soccer game.
• During homework you draw up a business plan to outlaw algebra.
• You know all of the Dr. Suess books by heart.
• You make 50 cupcakes at 9 p.m. because that’s when your child reminded you that they’re due tomorrow.
• You get water three times, scare away the monsters, and answer odd last minute questions like "Do worms yawn", before your little cherubs finally fall asleep.
• You hit your bed exhausted beyond words and feel you've either nailed the day or failed the day!
• You whisper prayers of love and protection over your kids as they sleep, count your blessings and know you’d do it all over again if you had the choice!